We’ve all seen it.
A man sits in the living room, surrounded by relatives. In a casual mood he jokes—
“Are ghar me inki hi to chalti hai, she’s the boss.”
Everyone laughs. The wife smiles with pride. Society claps: “What a modern husband, what a lucky wife.”
But stop for a second. Do you really think that’s power? No. That’s a loan.
Loaned Power – Not Yours, Never Was
When a man says “she’s the boss,” what’s he really saying?
He’s saying: “I can let her feel powerful now, but I can snatch it away whenever I want.”
That’s not freedom. That’s a favor.
That’s not authority. That’s permission.
And any power that depends on permission isn’t yours—it’s borrowed, loaned, fake.
The Trap Nobody Talks About
And here’s where it gets darker.
Women don’t just accept this loaned power—they start feeling proud of it.
Think carefully:
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If you’re called “the boss” only in kitchen decisions, why are you smiling?
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If the house papers are in your name, but your husband controls every rupee, what exactly do you own?
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If society calls you “docterni” just because you married a doctor, what did you achieve?
Here’s the brutal truth: when women feel proud of borrowed power, they stop craving real power.
It’s like being fed sugar water every day. Sweet enough to kill your hunger, but never enough to nourish you.
And that’s how patriarchy wins—not by openly oppressing, but by making women comfortable in their own cage.
The Beautiful Cage
Let’s be honest. Society has built women a cage, but it didn’t leave it rusty and ugly. No—it painted it gold, hung flowers on it, and made it look like a palace.
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Doctor’s wife? She’s docterni.
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Policeman’s wife? Instant respect.
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Politician’s wife? Symbol of power.
But look closer. These are not identities. These are extensions of someone else’s identity.
It’s not empowerment—it’s dependency dressed up as pride. A beautiful cage.
How Ads and Media Shine the Bars
The system doesn’t just hand you the cage—it makes you love it.
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Ads: Husband signing policies, wife smiling like she’s secured her future. No, ma’am—he secured it.
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Movies: The sacrificing wife glorified, or the powerful woman shown as “so-and-so’s wife.”
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Social Media: Flooded with #ProudWife hashtags. But where are the #ProudHusband posts for women’s careers? Almost nonexistent.
Ask yourself—why does the system want women to feel proud of their husband’s title, but not demand one of their own? Because illusions are cheaper than revolutions.
Loaned vs. Real Power – The Brutal Contrast
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Loaned Power in Money: He gives you his credit card.
Real Power: You swipe your own, from your own bank account. -
Loaned Power in Property: The house is in your name, but the control is his.
Real Power: You buy the house with your own earnings. -
Loaned Power in Status: You’re respected because you’re “doctor’s wife” or “officer’s wife.”
Real Power: You’re respected because you are the doctor, the officer, the leader. -
Loaned Power in Family: You decide groceries, kids’ tuition, maybe curtains.
Real Power: You sit at the table for financial, legal, and legacy decisions—without waiting for his nod.
Let’s not sugarcoat it: loaned power is a leash disguised as a gift. Real power is cutting the leash entirely.
The Cost of Comfort
And the saddest part? Women are not just trapped. They’re happy in the trap.
Because when illusion feels sweet, the hunger for truth dies.
When the cage is decorated, nobody wants to escape.
And when comfort takes over, strength withers away.
That’s why each generation of women raised on this illusion grows up weaker—not because they lack ability, but because they lack the need to fight for ability.
Final Words
So no, I don’t clap when a husband says “ghar me biwi ki chalti hai.”
I don’t call it cute, I don’t call it love.
I call it what it is: a hierarchy covered with a joke.
A cage polished with gold.
A society that has tricked women into feeling proud of power they never had—so proud that they don’t even want the real thing anymore.
That’s not empowerment. That’s slow, comfortable disempowerment.
And until women wake up and ask for unborrowed, unconditional power, patriarchy will keep winning—without even lifting a finger.
⚡ Soon, I’ll publish a follow-up article where we’ll dive even deeper—into the very roots of this illusion. We’ll talk about how mythology and religion themselves glorified these cages, and how manipulative and deeply entrenched this system really is.
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